AUTHORS NOTE: This was originally written January 29 2014, posted on my P:AL blog. Slightly edited to correct typo's, grammatical errors and such. Lord knows, of the 299 entries on that first blog i did have an occasional editor grace me for about 30 posts. For that, i am forever thankful. Yeah, you could look at this as Rerun, and that's fine with me as i believe it more meaningful today than i did when i was given these words. Looking back on notes for it, i added some things i felt needed. As always, i am grateful for your taking time to read anything i write.
We're Born With Blood. We're Born With Rage. (Our New World)
by Mark William Darus
Yesterday, on my way to work, I was looking for music software at Best Buy at Westfields Great Northern Mall, North Olmsted Ohio, USA. I happened to venture into the laptop section and hit the NET. First thing that popped up was about yet another Spree Shooting in the USA. This occurring in a Maryland Shopping mall. Several dead and wounded,
Nice. I mean, don't we find comfort in the normal day to day happenings that help us feel grateful to merely be alive? Hearing of this event on a car radio, seeing a commercial blurb about it on TV and how there would be film at some point, catching it like a starving fisherman as something tugs on your line on the internet. Did a neighbor, coworker, stranger, member of the clergy share this latest event in passing? Coworkers had little to ziltch to share. Told my girlfriend about it and was greeted with her mind-set that she did not wish to hear of such things, and would appreciate me not sharing such with her. (This always bothered me to my core. If you cannot share all with your chosen mate, who the hell can you share all things with?)
Did this catch you, take momentarily hold of your thoughts , knowing it a weekend and wondering if your children, loved ones, charges were going to roam the local Mall to kill nothing more than simple time amongst others like minded as you as were doing a Saturdays weeks worth of laundry?
Did you, let your over-stuffed McDonalds laden gut sodium scented belch out as your vehicle reaches an intersection that slow moving traffic makes you wish you had a gun to speed things up a wee bit?
Were you sitting alone at a Starbucks, surrounded by others very much self-guarded/shielded/personally absorbed like your hiding self, while vibrant Jazz blaring as succulent whiffs of rich coffee blends mix with diabetic hells of amazing pastries? Strong with your Lappy, IPAD, and the like in front of you, did you feel anything when you heard about the shootings?
What did you feel within you as chilled winter ears captured violent and unkind information?
Did you think about what this world is coming to? What you could do for your corner of the world to help others?
Hearing this, did you clutch your mate close to you? Inhaling their scent into you, as your mind swirls like a carnival ride gone berzerk, tugging them closer, placing a hand on their chest to feel security of a wanting, beating heart against you?
Perhaps you had the product of you and your mates loving, your child, look at you , with pigtails splashing to the right and left, pure innocents in young and tiny impression, ask you, "why does this happen, Mommy? "
I asked over two dozen people about America's (and i have little doubt will be eclipsed in a week or two, sadly so) killing fields being schools, movies and Malls in the last 50 hours.
The following is what I was given when I asked them what they FELT about it. Filling my Trailblazer at a gas station sharing across ther pumps throbbings, getting coffee from various venues with chit chat though eyes met square, shopping at walmart in check-outs with video monitors that carry no audio, eating at two restaurants.
At Best Buy:
Me: Damn, another Mall shooting? Maryland.
Worker: Sad. Dead?
Me: 2 so far.
Worker; could be worse, right?
Me: This is occuring now.
Worker: Sad. (he pauses about two/three seconds, adding about the current sales end soon and how I should take advantage of them.
Me: oh. yeah. I should do that. Hmmm, does you girlfriend work at a mall?
Worker: She sure does! I soooo love her! She works at an ear piercing kiosk, She's amazing-
Me: cutting him off. So she could next in the line of fire, right?
Worker: Uh, sir, I, I- am so sorry... (I had caught him off guard, clearly so.)
Me: It's okay, man. Just take a moment, call her and tell her how much you love her.
Worker: Do you think something like might happen in Ohio?
Me: Well, do you think the people of Maryland woke this morning thinking it would happen there?
Worker: (his eyes bulged, breathing increased,) DAMN!
Me: Hey, I don't mean to frighten you. I'm just saying time is precious and fast moving. In days like these we need to band together, not under a flag of nations but one of love, understanding and comfort.
Worker: Dude, what church do you go to?
Me: I don't have one. I have searched a very long time and keep failing. Oh well. I keep looking though.
Worker: I'm gonna call my girlfriend, could you excuse me?
Me: Absolutely! Be not afraid. Things happen as they do. Peace be your journey, brother.
At a Walmart while doing duty shoving a squeaking cart about. In the candle and incense area, feeling my oats and splashing myself out there like a megaphone in a maternity ward, i gained these after saying: Several dead in a Westfields Mall in Maryland. Any care to share your thoughts?
"They must have needed a good deading, m'boy. Jesus doesn't call his kin home without dem earnin' it. Praise God!" a man sporting a low-end T-shirts fading glory stating: KILL 'EM ALL! and baggy camo-shorts proclaimed.
"It's tragic, to say the least. Our world is slipping sideways, sir. I fear our children are more predatory than us. They desire so much and never wish to do honest work to gain anything. I have grandbabies in their late teens. Fired from this Mcdonalds, that Burger King and the lot. High school dropouts, the lot of them. I'm sorry, honey. I'm old and just go on and on and on..." She looked so frail, Her grey locks tossed over heavily wrinkled face that had witnessed so much in her life. She was sniffing a blue coloured Ocean Sea-breeze candle as she finished with: "Young man, thank you. I think I need to call my children now. Tell them I love them no matter how badly they could have done better in their lives. What church do you attend?"
I told her I appreciated her thanks. I also told her I had no church I called HOME.
"Sweet child, I watched you. What did you feel as you heard the news you ask us?"
Respecting elders, I told her that I wasn't sure. In all honesty, I truly didn't know. Yeah, how emotionally dead am i, really? Gave her my truth though adding: "Sweetest, you might want to not add the "how badly they could have done better" part. "do as you will, but to me, is that how Christ would have you speak to them?"
She hugged me as another responded most loudly.
'"Fuck you, bitch. WHERE BE SHIT PAY-PERZZZ, HOMO CUNT!" a heavily bearded male spoke to a lady clad in a burka (sp? Islamic garb)
"SAD, yet a common aspect of life. People walk in front of that which kills them. People die this way. Better them than me, " a highly thin blond lady laden with more gold jewelry than her total body weight seethed through gritting teeth. I liked her coral dress design. Most colourful. She was smiling as she spoke.
"YOU GET ANY CLOSER TO ME AND MY KIDS AND I WILL KILL YOU! " a misty blond haired lady in a bright blue tank top with short-short blue Levi's chopped down said as she quickly gathered two toddlers under her winged arms, pulling them to her as she covered yet a small babe in carriage.
"No offense intended." I softly spoke, adding: "I so applaud the way you protect your kinder. And, yeah, I have little doubt you would kill me."
"Okay, you gonna leave this isle, mister?" her dark brown eyes meeting mine fully, squaring off, Instinctive things making her react within her.
"Yes. You are a good mother and never doubt that while most of your friends do." I backed myself and my pisspoor shopping cart which sounded like a baby seal being clubbed to death by hungry Russians.
"DAMN, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT NOISE?!?!" she asked. Her slender hand dove into her over shoulder Gucci-clone satchel.
I looked at her, her tiny children gazing toward her, their faces taken into my memory while backing up, and proclaimed: "This shopping cart is either a result of bad American engineering or the Univeral work L Ron Hubert's Dianetics! Either way, this thing is possessed and making me think of Eskimos doing their thing for survival. SORRY!" i smiled all the while, and this seemed to work for her.
But another gave his mind to me.
An awesome three-piece, custom made dashing grey suit, red shirt and black and white patterned tie spoke up as i backed off the candle isle. This person spoke softly in a voice so cold and devoid of emotions I developed GooseFlesh on my limbs. Giving me a truth to consider, I felt the tiny hairs on the back of my neck rise giving instinctual warning signs. "Why shouldn't they be dead? Clearly someone has an agenda, No? Are you really so naive to believe this days shootings such as these are random? Columbine, Chardon, Colorado Opening of a Batman movie. Have you written have you learned nothing at all? It's part of an Order that will be followed by many more horrific things. You are not so ignorant to not know this already."
As she continued, I listened, never dropping my eyes from hers. I am not sure how I managed to do this. Perhaps the power of God, Christ, my Frodo-dog. No clue. I just knew I had to keep my eye contact with her.
"I;m damned ignorant! Seriously so!" i managed.
"Mark, just do as you do, keep writing and sharing a Word from long ago with as many as you can and all will be as it should." she smiled as she spoke, long brunette hair running over shoulders.
AUTHORS NOTE: i never told her my name...
E'nuff said on that one. i have never seen eyes so deadly with the purest of meaning aimed at me. This is an amazing woman.
What would you share?
Mark William Darus
