My Humble Thanks to Those Visiting my Long Walk.
written by
Mark William Darus.
i started this second blog a month and a half ago, It was my desire to express the beauty of life and all things to be seen. i wish to reach out and share with you a belief/faith i hold so firmly in my body and soul:
None of us are truly alone.
You are never unworthy of love no matter your background, though thinking of your history in solitude moments would steer you toward further depression, feeding its hunger to suck you deeper into levels of isolation, frightening loneliness, filling you with sadness unexplained.
At times, you hurt and don't know why. You are aching, from things not of physical in being like that of an arm muscle pull so much as a nagging mental pull about something in your past over twenty years ago. I have been here, and yeah, it really sucks in dealing with it.
Brothers and Sisters: Chuck that shit and mental turbulence!
Never forget this in your walk: You may forget and slam Jesus to the asphalt, but He never will forsake you.
Our Shame, with his passing, killed original sin and gave us an avenue to not only like ourselves once again, but grant us spiritual pavement to toss expression to others.
Imagine yourself as a door panel rusted, misfiring engine coughing huge plumes of smoke and a cracked windshield, Chevy Impala among immaculate Bmw's, Audi's, Mini Coopers. Looking around, you may think yourself small surrounded by such Juggernauts of automobile culture. You are blinded by sunlight glaring off others cars finishes, and look down on yourself.
Your mind tosses things about, endlessly ping ponging in your fragile mind. . I'm looking nasty, can't meet their eye glances, I suck.
You are never alone!!!!! Seriously!!!!
As you think the worst around other Mind-car-metaphors parking lot, a Lamborghini, Ferrari and Lister Storm most loudly throttle up. Well, this causes the Audi, Mini Coops and Beamers to lose self and develop a red flush in facial expression.
Equal playing field makes them like you. Doesn't it?
Equal playing field is ours for the taking with an open heart within us, if you just allow yourself to gently close your eyes and let yourself go to embrace something greater than yourself.
I'm not suggesting you ever go 'Born Again' so much as I so deeply pray you give a faith in Jesus within your heart another chance.
i understand your hesitation on this while you think and mount resistance and tell me why you cannot do this to give me a few more moments of your time.
You met one, a few, many of the following causing your heart to turn away from any church in your lifes journey.
Okay, your parish had sneaky priest with a desire for alter boys versus female flowery and brightly clad secretarial staff members. An elder went Bolivian and drained church coffers to negative=mark. A frail and highly mentally disturbed woman is around you, sharing (ironically something called a ) pew, stinks of many a mans bodily fluids and her painfully dying bad conscience as she reaches out so desperately.
Last Sonday nite, when going back to my Scranton Rd home, pulling into my alley-way i was offered a blowjob for five bucks. Stepping from the alleys treelit shadows, a highly gaunt female presented herself to me. Barely dressed, call it entrepreneurial honesty at it finest, she approached me.
I can honestly say the expression of the meaning of the word/thought/emotion PITIFUL never so slapped me in the head when taking this visual into my heart.
This filthy, vile and nasty woman stood in the alley behind me as i pulled my 03 BlailTrazer into my yard. i saw her in my rearview mirror as i shut the 4.2 off.
"honey, I can soooo take yo' ass to heaven!"
"ain't dead yet, but I think I am truly working on it, sister." I said to her as I walked toward the alley behind my place. "i'm not going to ask you if you're okay. But hey, lets's talk, okay?"
Meanwhile, a day ago I opened my gate and stepped in vomit. So slushy in content i took my feet into high weeds tossing them around for a bit before entering my truck.
i pray and pray and pray.
i take much comfort in knowing i am not alone in praying and believing.
i would like to give thanks to the following countries for viewing this blog, less than two months old.
Thanks.
Nothing is impossible when we believe.
Mark William Darus.
